Walking Disasters
by remember the chorus
Summary: It's never easy to form a pact between a group of people with completely different personalities. It's even harder to make them care for one another. Because what they'll never want, they'll always need. A series of drabbles in just about every genre.
1. Sanctuaries and Dinner

Steve Rogers pressed his fingers to his temple the moment he had made the mistake of walking into the training room. Since his 'defrosting', the old-styled gym had been a sanctuary. It was away from all the technological advances, the new and improved buildings and vehicles. The first time he had even stepped out to explore, the old Captain was forced to keep his eyes downcast and blush under control. It had been so difficult to see the style changes in women. He felt wrong for making eye contact but he was only human. And it was hard to think of a girl without Penny coming back to mind, which always hurt more.

Hence, why he liked going back to the gym to take his stress out on one of the bags.

The bags that Clint was currently lazily shooting arrows into, Natasha quietly examining his aim; Tony and Bruce seemed to be chatting about something along the lines of power and sketching formulas over the once-white punching bag with a rust-colored sharpie. The bottle of alcohol between them explained the sloppy writing.

His entrance did not go unnoticed though, because the archer immediately stopped his drawing of the next arrow to stare in acknowledgment. "Steve," he greeted simply.

"What are you guys doing?" asked the blonde, brushing off the attention of everyone in the room now.

"Why," Tony grinned as he stood up from the floor, walking over in a few quick strides to give Steve a clap on the shoulder, "waiting for you, Captain."

The frown deepened. "An emergency?"

Tony snorted. "Please. Do you think we'd be waiting for you if there was one?" At the glare, the man put his hands up. "I'm joking. Jeez, calm down before you start turning the color of America."

Natasha rolled her eyes and stood up from where she'd been seated. "We've all agreed on giving you a … tour so to speak." A brief pause as the surprise flickered into the soldier's face. "Thor would be here if he wasn't still delivering his psycho brother."

Clint muttered something about how he still owed the asshole an arrow through the eye.

The female gave him a sharp glance and Bruce decided it was his turn to say a few words, before Tony could make another remark. "It's best you go out and actually see the city. Since you're probably going to be dragged into plenty of battles, might as well know the place."

"Even though it's half-destroyed right now," Tony chipped in.

"And that's because of whom, Stark?" Natasha inquired. "Because if I remember correctly, you brought the party straight down into the central square."

"Hey, I can't take all the credit. You forget the crazy, green-alien who was jumping around all over the place, too."

"You're welcome for saving you."

"I was talking about Loki, Bruce."

"_I_ did plenty of damage without causing any more to the city."

"Clint, you played Cupid. That's not plenty of damage, that's just wrong."

At the sight of Iron Man and Hawkeye ready to lunge across the room at once another, Steve found his voice again and cleared his throat. "I appreciate the thought guys, but I'm not really –"

"I didn't ask you when I said it," Natasha said with a casual finality. "I was just informing you of what was going to happen. So let's go already. I've got somewhere to be later."

"I know exactly what restaurant to go to," Tony announced, clapping his hands together. "Alright Avengers, time to blow this joint!"

Bruce was already heading towards the door, a slight wobble to his step from the shot; Tony looked positively childish with the way he all but skipped to the doors (and a chance to drive his new car); Clint had gone oddly poker-faced at his fellow S.H.I.E.L.D member's comment; and Steve … Steve merely struggled to hold in his smile. He was the last one out and the Captain flipped off the light switch before the doors swung shut.

His sanctuary would be there when he returned.


	2. Vodka and Wine

Tony stared intently at his fiancée's belt as she strolled directly in front of the television, hands placed precariously on her hips. His mouth twitched as the seconds rolled on by. No force on Earth or the universe itself could make him lose his cool. He was Iron Man for God's sake (and no, he was not referring to Thor)! How dare this beautiful woman try to make him cower!

"Mr. _Stark_," she called out to him, none too happily. "I was only gone for two hours. Care to explain the broken glass all over our floor?"

He almost corrected her on the 'our' part but bit his tongue. His death sentence was already going to be cruel enough, so he kept to his Miranda rights. He'd say absolutely nothing till she walked away.

He could do this. Oh yeah. He was amazing.

"I know you're listening_._"

No force on Earth …

"Stark!"

He was just such a badass to repel a woman's rage. They should make movies of his bravery.

"_Tony._"

"It was him!" The billionaire squeaked.

Pepper immediately turned to look at where he was looking and she nearly face palmed at the sight of an unconscious Thor draped over the bar. Her voice went quiet. "What did you _do_ to him?"

"I let him try vodka. Did you know how savage his people are when they like drinks? By the way darling, that skirt looks so great on you …"


	3. Anger Management

Natasha had been expecting be in peace when she'd walked into the ship's relaxing quarters. Clint was off in Thailand at the moment and it left her with plenty of reminiscing time. It'd been months since she'd last seen from Stark or Thor, the last she heard that they'd been living a somewhat calm life. The red-head had been informed that Banner was to join them for a research project later that evening, but other than that, it was just her and whatever mission they decided to throw at her.

The day went on slowly, agents slipping through the hallways, always looking busy. Fury was nowhere to be found – though that was hardly a surprise – and Maria was manning the control room. Natasha had actually forced herself to ask if there was anything that needed assistance only to be shut down, infuriatingly polite.

There was nothing better to do then but to just finish her lunch.

There were plenty of break rooms scattered over the ship, each cozy with a set of tables and chairs. She preferred the back ones, where there were usually no groups of people. It wasn't a matter of being anti-social. It was just difficult to think with laughter omitting all over the place.

She certainly hadn't been expected to start eating and have the doors slide open to reveal a disheveled, familiar face. Her fingers placed the fork down. "Dr. Banner."

"Miss Romanoff," Bruce greeted with a bow of the head. "Mind if I…?"

"Yeah, of course," she replied.

She waited till he was seated again before picking up her fork once more, eyeing him for a bit as he put his own meal onto the table. "How's the research going?"

"Bit boring, I'll admit," the man laughed. "No Hawkeye today?"

"Out on a mission."

"Ah. No wonder it's been quiet around here. None of the team is wandering about."

They shared an amused grin, letting the minutes slip by in quiet comfort before Bruce straightened up a bit. "I remember the last time we were on a ship-thing together."

Black Widow didn't flinch but gave a slow nod, her eyes going down to her coffee. "Not the best memory."

The doctor adjusted his shirt collar slightly, his mouth quirked. "I am sorry. I don't think I ever apologized for … the _outburst._"

Natasha blinked before regaining a fonder gaze. "Don't worry about it, Doctor. I've never been the best in holding my anger either."


	4. Support Jokes

The thunder crackled as sharply as the bullet did. It was a horrible noise, although Thor was only used to one. He turned his head in time to see the archer crash to the floor, his fingers clutched hard against his shoulder. He had just started to shout out his name when one of the idiot humans charged at him, and the God of Thunder could feel a hot anger bubble into his gut. His hammer flew from his head directly into the robber's' chest and he watched with some satisfaction as the new hole in the wall was human shaped.

The pride was short-lived though. He was well aware his Earth companions were fairly fragile.

"Are you alright?" he asked, not bothering to offer his hand. Instead he crouched down and pushed away Hawkeye's hand to get a better look at the wound.

"Peachy," the injured Avenger ground out. "Fuck, it's been awhile since I've gotten _shot_."

"Hey, what happened in here?" Tony came to a landing next to them, his mask coming undone when he went through the window. "Uh-oh. Cupid got shot by an angry lover?"

"Not yet, he hasn't," Natasha commented as she gracefully leapt over the broken walls. "Clint, you think you can get up?"

The archer was pale but looked relatively calm for someone who'd just gotten shot. "This is nothing. There have been worse missions."

The red-haired woman nodded in agreement and pushed Tony out of the way, shortly after Bruce had gone back to normal size and hovered over their shoulders.

Thor merely voiced his concern in a loud, disgruntled sigh. "You humans have defeated alien creatures but cannot hold your own against a piece of metal?"

Tony scoffed, insulted. "At least we don't speaketh like we've got peanut butter on the roofs of our mouths!"

"Hey," Steve suddenly chirped out, smiling like a ten-year old boy as he found the group. "I understand that too!"

They all stared at him for a moment before bursting into laughter.

Except for Clint. Because his pride was still bruised by getting shot by amateur robbers.


	5. Brothers' Feud

Loki was unhinged from the inside out. He could feel his eyes narrow when Thor beckoned him to take hold of their key back to Asgard. It hurt to look at; it hurt to believe that he had actually lost. He had been so _close_. The blonde gave a slow nod to his new teammates seconds before they left and the younger sibling felt his composure harden. Of course his brother would make amends with the people that tried to kill them both.

The mask that covered his mouth felt sweaty against his skin, but he could not scratch or wipe at it. Instead, he focused solely on the man he had grown up with. If there was a worse thing then losing, it was losing to _him_ – and having to see his adoptive father again.

The trickster had begun to feel a swell of nervousness in his gut. One he hadn't felt since he'd heard his punishment should he lose the war.

He really hoped that they hadn't been sincere about being able to find him, though he knew it to be true. Losing had been his death sentence. He wondered if Thor knew that he'd be the cause of his demise. He wondered how much he'd be missed. Loki had stabbed him and attempted to murder him, after all. Though, he wasn't surprised to have another confrontation with his brother after he ejected him from the ship. So perhaps, deep inside, he never really wanted to kill him. It was just a game. Everything was just a game.

And he had lost this one badly.

As the light swept away and a view came into sight that he abhorred and missed more than anything in the world now, Loki took a deep sigh. There was no one in the world to call his ally. He no longer wanted _anyone_. He didn't _need_ **anything. ** He hated every breathing creature on every planet, every universe that had the disgrace to be created. He wanted to see it all burn, rot, _die. _No one deserved to live. He couldn't stand to be next to anyone without the bloodlust to choke him, and his anger to swell.

"Welcome home," said Thor, his voice quiet but hard. There was only a few seconds before he finished with a sadder tone. "Brother."

Loki kept his gaze ahead to the towering structures but the realization that he'd been wrong again had already infected his mind. He always had Thor. And until one of them perished, that would never change.


	6. Battles in the Kitchen

Natasha would've killed anyone if they had demanded her to cook for the team. True, she was the only female on the team but that didn't mean she'd be fit in with her gender stereotype. Not without ripping open someone's jugular. So needless, when the group got back together for a meal on the ship, no one asked Black Widow to cook. In fact, no one asked at all. It was more demands.

"I order everything," Tony muttered. "I'll make the drinks though."

"I know how to make spaghetti?" offered Steve, looking a bit sheepish that he couldn't contribute to such a great problem. That and he was fighting tooth-and-nail not to make a comment on Iron Man's inability to tend to himself.

"I survived off foods you wouldn't find appetizing on my self-therapy vacation," said Bruce and removed his glasses to avoid a headache at Tony's horrified expression.

"You ate someone didn't you?"

"Cannibalism is disgusting. I cannot believe Earth accepts such … monstrosity." Thor had his arms crossed again, trying to straighten his back. "That is as bad as eating a Nidhogg*."

Nobody asked Thor what the hell he was talking about. They were about to eat after all.

"We don't! _I _don't," Bruce half-growled and tucked himself further away into the seat, grumbling a few curses under his breath.

"I can microwave," Clint interjected, giving a quick shrug. "And make coffee."

"I want meat," Thor suddenly bellowed, now offended that nobody had questioned him on Asgard's monsters. "None of this petty, human food for women!"

Natasha quietly managed to set the kill-levels in the room into overdrive and the demi-God silenced himself rather quickly.

"Well, I'm hungry, so someone figure out how to cook already!" Tony whined, and sat himself down next to Bruce (who was still irate about being accused of cannibalism).

"All of you are expected to save the world and can't prepare a meal?"

Five heads turned to look at the newest person in the room, and the scowls on their face were simultaneous.

Fury merely kept his hands behind his back, looked around the kitchen, the tiny table in the center, back to the members (avoiding Natasha at all costs) and cleared his throat. "We could order a pizza."

Twenty-minutes later, no one was complaining of their hunger.

They were complaining at how annoying Thor was becoming as he demanded and screeched for more of this 'rich' meal.

* * *

* In Norse mythology, a Nidhogg was a dragon with wings. He would fly over the plain, carrying corpses. The great serpent enjoyed sucking on the bodies of the dead. In some other versions, he was a giant worm. Either way .. think about it. It'd be disgusting to eat.


	7. It's the Yoga Pants

"You're impossible," Clint gasped out, his fingers digging into his bruising ribs. His sparring partner merely tossed him a small grin and raised a brow. The taunting laugh behind it was all the incentive he needed to straighten up. He was an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. There was no way he was going to let himself be defeated so easily (at least not without his reward). Though, his opponent wasn't exactly playing fair.

And damn it to hell, Natasha Romanoff _knew_ it.

Rolling his shoulders back and taking a small jump to prepare for the next shift, Clint waited for the red-head to lunge forward. Her calf collided hard with his neck, slid forward and the archer took a step back to adjust his footing, but the strongly-toned muscle was suddenly twisting around his head. Shortly followed by the other leg, the balance was thrown out and he knew the move coming up quite well. He was thrown to floor in an instant, body giving an involuntary flip before slamming down.

"What was that?" asked Natasha, pushing the hair from her eyes. Clint was still on his back with a more than amused smirk on his face. "You didn't even try to push me away on that one."

"Well," said Clint, "you can't blame me. You're the one who decided to wear tight yoga pants to practice." At her flirtatious scowl, the smirk widened. "Have I ever told you how much I love being crushed by your thighs?"

* * *

Thanks to all those who are reviewing C: & for those of you who have seen the interview that inspired the last line, this might be funnier to you. Basically, Scarlett was talking about her favorite move that she gets to perform while playing Black Widow, which was the one where she takes hold of a man's neck with her legs and throws him down. Jeremy Renner took the opportunity to grab the mic and stated that any man would happily die being choked by Johansson's thighs.


End file.
